My first run was as a freshman in college after a very pretty girl asked if I was interested. I showed up in long shorts, basketball shoes, and a t-shirt. Somewhere along the way, I passed gas… loudly. We never ran again.
I never understood the idea of running for fitness, much less for fun, but sometime after college I adopted running over drinking and it stuck. I became a casual runner, training for a 5K here and there, and met one of my very best friends for the Chicago Half Marathon several years in a row. That friend eventually took his own life. When I heard the news, I went for a run.
Over the years, running became a peaceful practice, emails stopped, phone calls were nonexistent, and peace and quiet became the norm. When I find myself stressed, a run seems to help. When faced with major life decisions, I run. I can remember the exact spot on a run when, contemplating a business sale, I said “why not?” and the decision was made. Ironically, it was around that same spot when the idea of retirement took shape.
One day, when it was exceptionally hot outside, I went for a run. During it, a single mom of a t-baller I coached popped into my head. For some reason, it became very clear that I should call her afterward to check in. I did not want to make that call. After stumbling and bumbling my way through the reason for my random call on a Tuesday afternoon, well after the season had ended, I was met with silence, and finally sobbing. The single mom was about to lose her electricity, which would in turn shut off her AC. She had no idea what she was going to do and had prayed that very day for the Lord to intervene. The AC was not shut off.
Over the years I have learned a lot about myself through running and believe the sport can be an incredible metaphor for life. In no particular order, here are some thoughts.
It’s Hard — While I can honestly say I enjoy running, whenever I am injured or forced to take time off, getting back to it is brutal. It is genuinely the hardest part of the sport and precisely why so many people never come to enjoy it. Life, too, is hard, but knowing how to push through the challenges is what gets us to the other side, where the good stuff lives. For me, giving up when things get hard is not an option. Just like restarting those aerobic engines, when life gets difficult, I need to lace up and put one foot in front of the other.
Sucker Punches Come — For the last few years I’ve been dedicated to running the Boston Marathon. I don’t want to buy my way in, I want to qualify. Qualifying is hard, made harder by the fact that the Boston Athletic Association publishes a qualifying time and then adds a cutoff buffer to limit the field. It essentially becomes a moving target.
Last September I qualified with a four-minute, ten-second buffer. Considering they had just dropped all qualifying times by five minutes the previous year, I felt confident in my chances. Several weeks later, Boston published their cutoff buffer of four minutes and thirty-four seconds. That’s right, I missed the 2026 Boston Marathon by twenty-four seconds. To call it a gut punch is an understatement.
Life will throw you curveballs you’re not expecting. Illness sets in, someone passes away, a job is lost, an unexpected bill arrives. The key is not to let these punches derail your entire day, week, month, or year. Just as with the hard stretches, we should understand that on occasion the unexpected is to be expected. I’m not sure how people handle this without faith, but I know how the story ends and that certainty keeps the unexpected from altering my expectations of the ending.
After twenty-four hours of swearing off running, I got back at it and began training again. I’ll run Boston someday. Someday.
Accomplishing Goals Feels Great — I don’t care if you download Couch to 5K, complete a half marathon, or run an ultra, finishing the race may be one of the most gratifying feelings there is.
In life, setting and accomplishing goals is critical to feeling fulfilled. I encounter so many people wandering aimlessly, wondering why they feel unhappy, unsatisfied, and directionless. Whether it’s walking around the block, pursuing a new career, or paying off debt, we all need goals to work toward, day in and day out. Once you experience how wonderful it feels to accomplish a few, the potential is unlimited.
Better with Friends — I’ve hit a few running ruts in my life, and they’ve always come from having no one around to run with. I try to keep it up solo, but without accountability or camaraderie, it rarely lasts. Over the years I’ve accumulated a dozen or so people I could call on any given day to schedule a run. Multiple times a week I join a crew that runs rain or shine, snow or sleet, and they’ll call to check on me if I don’t show.
I truly believe life is meant to be lived in community. If you don’t have a few close friends you’re doing life with, people you can share the struggles and wins with, that needs to change. Friendship takes work, and men especially aren’t great at it, but I can tell you firsthand it’s more than worth it. I have friends who know me inside and out, and while we may not connect daily, I know I could pick up the phone at any moment and they would be there. I’m blessed by this, but it has taken work. One of my closest friends likes to remind me that when we first met, he told his wife, “Just another Yankee.” We became best friends shortly thereafter.
If you need to make a few calls and rekindle some friendships, I encourage you to do it. And if there are relationships that are draining you or holding you back, that’s worth examining too. Another friend reminds me regularly: “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go with friends.”
We’re all running the marathon of life, whether or not we lace up running shoes. My hope is that you take a few nuggets from above and run your best race ever. When you cross that final finish line, may none of us have anything left out on the course.
